Posted an ad.

Seems like old times, LOL.

Posted my ad and made an email address just for surrogacy. p1p3r@bigstring.com

Feel free to pimp it out if you know someone looking. =P I can also forward my ad.

A New Year; A New Start

Finally got the reply I was looking for from L, the IM. She's been quite preoccupied by her ailing mother, who lives several states away. There's no doubt that her focus needs to be there and that any surrogacy plans are on an indefinite hold.

I'm glad to have answers and sad that this journey has come to an end even before it got really started.

That feeling just before you fall.

Contact with the IPs has been almost nonexistent in the last two months. I (naively?) assumed it was because of the holidays and every one was just busy. I know I was and I was secretly happy to have the holidays without doing the shots. Martini's with the inlaws just wouldn't have been the same.

Anyhoo... two weeks ago, DH got a bill in the mail. Not just a bill... a collection notice. It was from the blood work for his STD testing. I forwarded the bill to L and S at least a month prior and didn't for the least bit think they wouldn't take care of it. My bill has yet to be received... maybe they were waiting on it??

So, I emailed L to check and ask 'what up' with the bill. DH's crapometer was starting to ping and I was holding out hope that it just slipped their mind in the chaos of a busy month. I got an email back saying she'd been out of town but would get back Sunday (laaaast Sunday). Her mother was sick. I told her that I would be off work all this past week but would have access to cell and email. I haven't received another reply. No call, no return calls and no further contact. WTH?

She's got another day or two to respond to my email from this morning (hey - what's going on - what's up with this bill, do i need to pay it???) or "else". It's obvious, even to me, that this is the end. I cannot move forward with IPs that can't take care of a simple inexpensive bill (<$150) before it hits collections. That, and I'm not given the courtesy of a BS excuse or anything. I'm being ignored for whatever reason. =/


Short of a miracle explanation at the 11th hour (coma?), I'll be looking for new IPs in the next few weeks.

Hello again

Just an update to say no update. =P


They're in contact with the lawyer working on the contract. I'm in charge of getting life insurance quotes and getting a signed document from my health insurance stating they would no exclude a pregnancy thru surrogacy.

I still need to have the saline ultrasound done but I'm not sure if that will be this month or next. Probably next. I don't believe we'll ramp back up until after the turn of the new year so that we can keep everything on next year's deductible when it comes time.

Back on

So, talked with IM. She had evidently gotten a bit dejected about the financial aspects of the journey after talking with the lawyer and thought my numbers were written in stone... so she gave up.


The part that L, the IM, had problems with fiancially were all the whatifs. I had requested several fees for things above and beyond normal: caesarean section, bedrest, weekly housekeeper if on bedrest, tranfer and loss of organ. I removed all of these from our contract. (Total ~$8000)

Since L is only transferring a single embryo, we have only a minute possibility of twins and even less for triplets or quads. L is allowing me to choose a birth center in which midwives will do all the OB monitoring. With this comes less medically routine surgeries, inductions, etc. L doesn't want amnios done and we'll have a single sono done to s3x the child. Since I won't be high risk, there just a LOT less chance of needing that bedrest or caesarean section (I've never had one).

We're pushing the saline ultrasound to next month while L finishes up her side of things and we get the contract taken care of. Looks like we won't be trying for a transfer until January which is great =)

Yo Yo

So, I got an email from the IM earlier today. She gave me a new proposed itemization of fees and the financial expections which was significantly lower. I countered by reducing every "what-if" fee and essentially making my compensation "all-inclusive".

I don't know if I see this going anywhere, but I'm still playing and will see it to the very end.

dumbfounded

Got an email from IM and they're ending our journey. I'm so completely dumbfounded and sad. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop but thought that since we had gone thru most of the testing, that we must be "for real".

So, what happened, was they met with the lawyer again and went over more of the specifics of financial implications and decided that there was no way that they'd be able to do this with all the "what ifs". If everything was storybook, they'd be fine. If I required bedrest, interventions, long hospital stays, twins, triplets, multiple tries, etc - they'd be wiped out and couldn't chance it.

On one hand, I feel so very badly for them. If I were in their position, I don't believe that I/we could afford a surrogate.

I'm still hurt though and angry. I was so ready to give this a big "GO" and I'm thrown back to the beginning again.

#(*$&@